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Friday, December 24th, 2004
11:58 pm
I should be completely materialized by ... well... Christmas.. So, Two more minutes and I'm able to see Botan again. <3

*Siiiigh* My head hurts.

current mood: groggy

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Sunday, December 5th, 2004
8:48 pm
I'm back at the library. I went to go see what was going on with Karasu, Hiei and Urameshi, and it would seem Karasu is hiding behind a barrier. It repels Yusuke and Kazuma, but not me, since I'm just a spirit. Yusuke, the sheild has a weakness. I'm not sure what it is, but I've detected a flaw in it. I think it gets weaker with time, but I'm really not too sure, since he said he could wait forever for you to leave.

I... Saw Botan...
It's rather depressing, really. Even if she is a Reikai being, I can't hold her. I just... pass right through her. I can barely even talk to her. I tried, but my words come out all... Whispy... It's too hard for her to understand me. I don't get it.

I know she has a human body (Apparently she requested one), so is it that? Is her form becoming too human?

Koenma, when you read this, you can make it up to me by telling me what we can do to interact. I want to hold her again. There are so many things I want to do...
Take that however you want.

current mood: lonely

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Saturday, November 20th, 2004
9:32 pm

Karasu and Hiei are both SICK, SICK Youkai! >.< Disgusting. Just plain disgusting.

Well, anyways... I can't continue to slow Karasu down. He just found a way to ward me off. o_O Why he didn't use it in the first place is beyond me. I've possessed some random human at the library right now. And soon I'll be off to reikai to see Botan... I just want to get a bit of research done on ghosts. So far, I can't find any records of souls being put to rest after they become ghosts... I think it will be safe to see her.

Yes, I'm afraid of being put to rest. I'm afraid I'll never be able to experience this beauty again...

I don't know... I should be done with research in another minute or so. Then I'm going to her. I don't want to wait much longer...

current mood: busy

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Sunday, November 7th, 2004
6:03 pm
I'm still here. Not alive, but I exist. My soul is unable to rest. I've posessed Karasu to type this.

I've looked into his mind. I know what's wrong with him. There's not much that can cure him now, unless there's more ways to supress his power than just the mask. It's his body. It can't handle his abilities. Not for much longer, anyways.

He's planning to practically suicide-bomb Youko Kurama, so they can forever be in hell. Somehow, that's how twisted his mind has gotten. That's why you all need to find a way to stop him, if you don't want Kurama or Koenma dead.

Botan... I wanted to attach my soul to hers. I wanted to, but I find convincing myself to go to her difficult. I'm afraid, though, that if I never see her again, my soul will never rest. I don't want an eternity of haunting things, and not having a material form to go back to. But... if I see her, I may fade from her life forever. Be in hell again. And this time, I won't be able to escape to my own body. Because... My body is smeared along the floor and walls of that cave. And part of it is in Botan's hands.

Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to watch your own heart be dropped at the feet of the one you love?
I don't think you do.

I'm so sorry, Botan. I'll never truly leave you. You would know that best, though, wouldn't you?

I'll keep posessing Karasu until you all find him, to stop him. Just... use whatever means necessary. Kurama was my partner. I can forgive him for what he's done to me, just don't let Karasu hurt him again...
And never let any more harm come to her or I'll haunt you for eternity.

Hurry. His spirit is trying to force me out of his body.

current mood: depressed

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Thursday, October 21st, 2004
11:55 am
I'm so sick of this. I feel like I might break apart at the seams any moment now. I'm still rather disabled- I'm still tied up, still being tortured in more than one way. Every day, he asks me, "What has that ferrygirl done for you, that keeps you so loyal?"-last time he asked me that, I spat in his face. I've had enough of this. The worst part about it is, I don't know how to answer. She's just... The sweetest person I've ever been with. She doesn't HAVE to do anything for me.

Koenma's traumatized. I think after having to see Youko do this, he may be ruined for life. I almost feel bad for the guy. Almost.

There are a few strands of red coming into his hair... Maybe the effect of the Zense no mii is wearing off. I hope so... Maybe then he'll get his memory back...

current mood: Violated

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Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
12:34 pm - I feel...
Like the lowest lifeform in all three worlds. If this is how I have to pay for what I've done, then so be it.

But what makes him think I'll cry out for him? What Part of his perverse Youko brain actually makes him think I can't keep a straight face through all of this? I've had worse-I was in Reikai prison for a long time. The living conditions are enough to make a lower S-class cry. I've spoken with Koenma about this. He, Unfortunately, does not want to change them.

Botan, Thank-you for your forgiveness. I love you. I just wish I had a picture of you so I could pass the time staring at it. Koenma, also a captive here, is getting boring. He freaks out every time Youko comes close. Freaks out even more once he's seen what Youko's done to me.

Karasu, I have three words for you: I'll. Kill. You.

current mood: Shitty

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Monday, August 9th, 2004
10:06 pm - The Plans. >D
The plan worked.
His spirit is so wild. I couldn't let him loose. Not after meeting Botan. I just hope she isn't mad that I had to lie to her. I had to make that last post in order to make him believe me.
Here was the idea; Kurama and I go wild for a few days, then I restrain him. I don't know how the Zense no Mi works, but I think... Isn't it supposed to wear off?
I know it was a bit risky, but it was the only way the plan would work. I've returned all the stolen goods, and I've got him tied in some weird type of chain/rope that Karasu told me to use. I don't know why I trusted him, he's having a ball with this. But it could stop plants from cutting through.
I know I hurt your pride. I'm truly sorry, Youko. This is for your own good. We have to find a way to get rid of this Amnesia.

current mood: sympathetic

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Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
8:22 pm
I know I made a promise...

I knew it would be difficult. I knew this would be hard to resist. Why did I tell her I'd stop?

I can't stop this thrill I feel when I find something new to steal. ;_; I had a feeling I'd fail at this.

I'm sorry, Botan. When he came back, he gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. I just hope you can forgive me.

current mood: energetic

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Friday, July 16th, 2004
9:56 pm
Oh, this cuts deep. First he doesn't like me anymore, and now he just... Doesn't remember me at all. He didn't even mention me in his post. >:o

Not much else to post about. Yukina's back. Genkai is happy about that.

I haven't seen Botan in awhile. I miss her. Not much I can do about that, though, she's really busy and well, I'm not.

I haven't had practice with my scythes in awhile. I think I should do that.
Urameshi, Koenma, I'll be hunting down Shapeshifters, too. Though I'm not a great fighter, I may be able to offer something. I can at least locate them for you all. I'll report any unusual behavior around.
Plus, I'll help kill off those weak youkai.

That's about it for now.

current mood: lonely

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Sunday, July 4th, 2004
10:42 pm
I can't believe Genkai let Karasu go. He'll probably come after me. Not good. Then again, it wasn't too kind of me to trap him like that. He and I got along at one point. I remember when we were fighting in that tornament, everyone was devastated when they thought he was dead. Now they're back to believing he's a scumbag. I can't blame them, though. If you've seen Kurama, He looks awful He covered with... not his blood, but Karasu's. His scars are fading, luckily.

Shiori and I spoke. She wanted to hear stories of her son's past, so I told her everything I knew. She and I had to bathe him and everything. Kurama trusted me with his precious treasures, I'm sure he'd trust me to give him a bath.

Botan is still visiting occasionally. She trusts me more and more each visit. I'm a rather sexual being, not nearly like Karasu, but I enjoy it. But with her, I feel like it can wait. She almost seems too pure and beautiful to touch. And I'm sure her trust is fragile, I have to be careful not to break it.

Atsuko and Yusuke don't talk to me much. Heh.

The Hiei things are getting pretty freaky. I hope Karasu finds out what's happening soon.

current mood: content

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Thursday, June 17th, 2004
9:41 pm
Okay, when Botan came, she showed up WET. >D
That was exciting.
*Prepares to get hit*

But that... Creature showed up last night. Probably to hurt Kurama. Now he's unconscious. They have him layed out on a futon next to the poor fox...

Maybe I should set out a few traps for him when he wakes up. >D

And, everyone else went for it, why not...?

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current mood: annoyed

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Thursday, June 10th, 2004
9:12 pm
I haven’t updated in awhile. Again. ^^;;;
Botan drops by often when she’s in the area. It’s always good to see her. She says she’s not too busy lately, and the suicide rate has gone down. Now I get to see her more. XD
Genkai is extremely kind to me. She Even helped me find suitable furniture. To pay her back, I’ve been doing the food shopping and other errands for her. I’ve had to conceal my wings and ears a lot. ^^;;;
But back to Botan-chan. ^_^ She’s the cutest thing ever! I love the way she smiles-it brightens up the room. Her happiness is like a glowing aura around her. She’s so beautiful. I really enjoy the time we spend together, Botan-chan. When’ll I see you again? ^^;
Hiei’s missing, hmm? I’m in a rather good mood. I’ll keep my eyes open, but I won’t go out of my way to find him. It’s his business where he wants to go.
That's all I really have to say right now. Ruri seems to have left, though I wasn't paying much attention.

current mood: chipper

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Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
8:59 pm
I Don't think Genkai-san knew I was coming this morning. ^^;;;
The look on her face screamed, "What the hell do you want?!"... Something along those lines.
I hope she's not angry. But oh well, she offered. ^^
There's not much to update about now...
Oh!! I got most of my stuff back from those low-class thieves. Now I must finish setting up what I have and go find furniture.
Whoo... It's going to be a long weekend.

current mood: hot

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Saturday, May 15th, 2004
2:38 pm
I'd forgotten about this journal for awhile, but reading up on what's happened, I don't really care. I mean, It doesn't have anything to do with Botan-chan or me, so why should I?
Someone found the hideout Kurama and I used to use. I figure I'll take my favorite things back from them and then just let them keep it. I know the traps by heart, and they seem too stupid to add any new surprises for me. I'll save some of the gold and sell it in Ningenkai, too, so I can go ahead and get rather human-like clothing. That's where everyone else is staying, I might as well stay there, myself. Though That would mean I'd have to be a thief again to pay rent for a human "apartment". Or I could threaten the landlord, but I'm not sure that would go over too well with the law. Then again, being a thief wouldn't really help, much, either.
But getting a job would be rediculous for me... Right?

This whole thing with Karasu could be finished if he had a pet. That's my oppinion. He needs some Thing (No person would) to love him unconditionally. Let's get him a parrot, so it can talk just as much as he does. Or almost as much.

Okay, so since I'm going to have to go get Ningen clothing, who wants to help me pick stuff out? Enma knows, I can't shop alone.

(*Silently hoping Botan will volunteer*)


current mood: hopeful

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Thursday, May 6th, 2004
11:13 am
The fight was intense. You could see the explosions- and hear them –throughout the entire Makai. But, thank Enma, Karasu didn’t win. Rei gun to the face. I mean, he’s not dead, he ran off, injured. I know he wasn’t expecting all of you, because his challenge was just for Yusuke, and that’s probably why he was hit in the face. It surprised him, otherwise it would’ve probably gotten him somewhere else that needs to be shot. Hopefully. Hiei’s been relaying messages to me through the powers of his Jagan. That’s how I know He lost. ^^
Great of you all to team up on him like that. I figured out the spell that I need to cure Hiei, so I’ll see you all when we get back.
In the meantime, I was riding back with Botan and started to feel faint, so she stopped and healed me, for the most part. I think what needs curing now is my mind. There’s something sick about Karasu. What he showed me was disgusting. A wall, covered with faces of people he found attractive. Yusuke, you may want to look into that. A few unsolved cases involving missing persons could easily be solved with that thing.
I feel really happy right now. Not only has Karasu retreated for a time, but Botan’s here with me.

”::Private::”Collapse )


current mood: calm

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Monday, May 3rd, 2004
11:50 am
He is sick. Have any of you seen his walls? COVERED with FACES. Karasu has introduced both Hiei and myself to whole new kinds of torment.

Sorry I haven't updated. Karasu forgot to tell anyone that he dragged me into this madness. It's painful, and I hate it. It's him and Hiei, so why me and Kurama?

I can't hurt Hiei, right? He didn't WANT to hurt me in the first place. It's Karasu's fault...

Someone please... I'm not strong enough to fight Karasu... Kurama doesn't want to...

He's coming back.


current mood: exhausted

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Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
11:56 am
So I was visiting Genkai's temple (Snuck in), and who should stumble in but Karasu, all ripped up. And he seems quite angered. But right now he's unconscious. And I'm laughing at him. He deserved that.

And Hiei likes Americans, now. Interesting... I like your post. Sex with Satan, huh? Cute. But humans tend to be blinded by power. If he knows you're a demon, he 'trusts' you because you either scare him or he thinks you'll give him power.

Botan... Er... Yeah. Sorry.

Haha. Yes, feel that pain, Karasu. ^^

current mood: peaceful

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Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
9:02 am
So I’ve been gone for awhile. A long while, But I came back. Not too sure why, but I came back. I shouldn’t have.
Life goes on, luckily, so I’ll face whatever’s thrown at me. I begin to wonder all of what Karasu’s said, but I can live without knowing. I know he’s mentioned the Botan issue, but that crow never shuts up.
I’ll be back again once I read about what’s been happening. I just thought I’d tell you that I’m back.

current mood: drained

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Sunday, March 21st, 2004
10:58 pm
It looks like it's over for real this time. I can't express how relieved I am, to tell you the truth. Hiei and Karasu were constantly competing, like for the title "Badass" to be tattooed on their foreheads.
All over poor Kurama, too. The poor guy had no idea what sort of crap was happening while he wasn't there, and I'm quite glad at that. If he did know, there's not a doubt in my mind that he would try to stop them, and Karasu would attempt to kill him. A little criminal psychology for all of us, they are.
Congratulations on actually going and saving Kuwabara-kun, everyone. It took you all long enough.
Yusuke seems to have fully recovered from waking up with a collar on. I swear, I really should ask Karasu if he gains power from physical contact and killing. I'm almost positive that he does. It just seems to work that way, the way he was weakened when Hiei was dead and Kurama wasn't around, now he's back at full power, and even stronger.
Hey, Yusuke, want payback? I dare you to put his hair in braids next time you see him. Or 'Odango' style buns (A'la Sailor Moon). Seriously. It's almost sad how much that guy obsesses over his hair.

current mood: cranky

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Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
10:06 pm
Koenma is to merciful to this bunch of idiots, I am included.
As I seem to remember, Urameshi has been revived three times, am I right? I've come back, Karasu revived himself enough to sink a ship, Kurama got his second chance, and Hiei, now.
Now, knowing that we all seem to be more than capable of coming back, why are we being so cautious? Pain? Oh, please, I've shown each of you so much of it, and you took it bravely. So, my point is, stop being so pathetic and go save your friend. Hesitation will kill you all in the end.
Caution is such an ugly human quality. Just go for it.
Yukina is so upset about the poor boy, now why don't we all go and do something about it?
Why am I not doing anything, you might ask?
It's not my problem. It's yours. You should really go take care of it.

OOCCollapse )

current mood: disappointed

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